Education

Adoption After Loss: How Faith Guides Families Through Grief to Joy

Sep 24, 2025
By, Donna Pope

Brett and Emily Hamilton's adoption after loss journey demonstrates how God transforms the deepest grief into the foundation for helping others through their darkest moments. After experiencing three devastating stillbirths, this Texas couple discovered that their personal tragedy uniquely prepared them for their faith-based adoption calling. Their story, shared in this first part of a two-part series on the Eternal Family Adoptions podcast with host Donna Pope, reveals how the adoption process becomes a pathway for healing when families trust divine timing over their own understanding. The Hamilton family's domestic adoption experience shows how grief can create the empathy needed to support birth mothers through their own difficult placement decisions.

Early Adoption Calling Despite Fertility Struggles and Pregnancy Loss

Emily Hamilton's adoption after pregnancy loss story began with a calling she felt long before facing fertility challenges. During their first year of marriage, Emily experienced what she describes as God placing adoption on her heart, though she couldn't envision how their adoption journey would unfold. The couple initially focused on building their family through birth, successfully welcoming four children while living in Washington DC and later Texas.

Their path took an unexpected turn when fertility struggles began affecting their family planning. After having biological children relatively easily, Emily underwent 12 IUIs and various fertility treatments while wrestling with questions about God's timing. The adoption process seemed distant during these medical interventions, but Emily's original calling to adopt remained constant throughout their struggles with conception and pregnancy loss.

The persistence of this adoption calling through their darkest moments reflects how God often plants seeds long before families understand their purpose. Emily's faith-based adoption desire would prove essential when they later needed to support a birth mother through her own grief and difficult decisions. Their early adoption discussions created a foundation that sustained them through multiple disappointments and prepared them for the rapid response their eventual placement would require.

International Adoption Attempts and Domestic Adoption Transition

The Hamilton family's initial adoption process focused on international programs, reflecting their desire to help children in greatest need worldwide. Emily's missionary service in the Dominican Republic had created a heart for international children, leading them to investigate Colombian adoption programs and invest in hosting experiences. They welcomed a 14-year-old girl for a summer, though the placement ultimately didn't result in permanent adoption due to mutual recognition that the fit wasn't right.

International adoption proved more complex than their research had suggested, with bureaucratic challenges and emotional complications that didn't align with their family's needs during an already difficult season. These setbacks occurred simultaneously with their pregnancy losses, creating multiple layers of disappointment that tested their faith and resolve. The combination of failed international adoption attempts and continued pregnancy loss forced them to reassess their approach to family building.

Following their third stillbirth, baby Jace's death in November, the family began seriously considering domestic infant adoption through Heart to Heart Adoptions. This transition represented both a practical decision based on their experiences and a step of faith toward trusting God's specific plan for their family. The shift to domestic adoption would prove crucial when they needed to respond quickly to support a birth mother in crisis, though they couldn't see this divine orchestration at the time.

Faith-Based Adoption Process and Divine Timing Lessons

The Hamilton family's domestic adoption process with Heart to Heart Adoptions began in December and extended through six months of preparation, home studies, and certification requirements. Brett, who describes himself as a checklist person, found the adoption waiting period particularly challenging due to his inability to control timelines or outcomes. The extensive preparation process tested their patience while building the foundation they would need for their eventual placement.

Their certification timing coincided with a planned family vacation, creating what seemed like poor timing for beginning their active waiting period. This apparent inconvenience would later prove to be part of God's perfect orchestration, though they experienced doubt and questioning during their trip about whether adoption was truly His plan. The adoption process had already stretched longer than expected, adding to their uncertainty about the path forward.

Brett found comfort in the scripture "be still and know that I am God" during a Christmas Eve service, which became their guiding verse throughout the adoption journey. This biblical foundation helped him transition from trying to control outcomes to trusting God's timing and plan. The spiritual preparation would prove essential when Donna Pope's call came just days after their vacation, launching them into an 18-hour timeline that would bring their daughter home.

Birth Mother Relationship Built on Shared Understanding of Grief

The connection between the Hamilton family and birth mother Chris illustrates how adoption after loss creates unique bonds of understanding between families walking through difficult circumstances. Chris had struggled for eight months with her placement decision, missing multiple flights and changing her mind repeatedly about placing her daughter Leilani. The Hamilton's experience with pregnancy loss prepared them to approach her situation with patience rather than frustration, recognizing her grief as valid and necessary to process.

Emily's understanding of grief from losing three babies enabled her to meet Chris in her emotional struggle without judgment or pressure to make quick decisions. The timing revelation that Leilani's due date coincided with the day Emily learned of Jace's death represents the kind of divine orchestration that characterizes many faith-based adoption stories. This connection helped both women understand that God was working in their parallel journeys through darkness.

The Hamilton family's willingness to travel to New York on less than 24 hours notice, despite their own emotional fragility so soon after burying their son, demonstrated their commitment to supporting whatever God had planned. Their approach of showing up ready to help Chris regardless of her final decision reflected the selfless love that successful adoption relationships require. This birth mother relationship would become a source of healing for both families as they supported each other through the adoption process.

Adoption Waiting Period Preparation Through Spiritual Growth

The Hamilton's adoption journey demonstrates how God uses waiting periods and setbacks in the adoption process to build the faith and character families need for successful placements. Their experience through fertility treatments, pregnancy loss, international adoption attempts, and domestic adoption preparation created a foundation of dependence on divine guidance rather than their own ability to control outcomes. This spiritual growth proved essential when they needed to respond to rapid changes and support a birth mother through complex emotions.

Brett's struggle with relinquishing control during the adoption waiting period reflects the challenge many families face when transitioning from active problem-solving to trusting God's timing. The scripture about being still and knowing God's sovereignty became a cornerstone of their faith-based adoption approach. This spiritual foundation enabled them to remain available and responsive when their placement opportunity arose suddenly.

Their story continues in Part 2, where the meeting with Chris and baby Leilani unfolds, revealing how their preparation through loss equipped them to build a lasting relationship with Leilani's birth family. The first part of their adoption after loss journey shows how God weaves together seemingly separate struggles into a tapestry that serves His purposes for multiple families simultaneously.

Key Elements of the Hamilton's Faith-Based Adoption Preparation:

Long-term adoption calling before fertility struggles began
Pregnancy loss experience that created empathy for birth mother grief
Willingness to explore multiple adoption paths while remaining flexible
Strong spiritual foundation built through trials and waiting periods
Support from experienced adoption professionals who understood their journey
Commitment to supporting birth mothers without pressuring outcomes
Understanding that God's timing in adoption differs from human expectations

Finding Hope in the Adoption Process After Loss

The Hamilton family's experience offers encouragement to other families pursuing adoption after pregnancy loss or fertility struggles. Their journey demonstrates how the most difficult seasons often serve as preparation for the greatest blessings, building character and faith that serve families throughout their adoption relationships. The adoption process, while challenging, becomes a pathway for healing when approached with faith and surrender to God's timing.

Their story shows how adoption after loss creates opportunities for families to support each other through grief while building new life and hope together. The birth mother relationship that develops from shared understanding of loss often becomes deeper and more meaningful than arrangements based solely on practical considerations. This spiritual dimension of faith-based adoption provides lasting benefits for all parties involved in the adoption triangle.

For families currently navigating the adoption process after experiencing loss, the Hamilton story demonstrates that God works actively in waiting periods even when His plan isn't immediately visible. Their experience proves that fertility struggles and pregnancy loss, while painful, can become the foundation for meaningful adoption relationships that bring healing to multiple families simultaneously.

Visit eternalfamilyadoptions.org to connect with faith-based adoption support and resources designed for families who share similar values and experiences. The Hamilton family's adoption journey continues in Part 2, showing how their preparation through grief enabled them to complete their domestic adoption and build a lasting relationship with their daughter's birth mother.

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