The Path Through Agency Adoption

Step 2: Find the Right Adoption Agency for Your Family [The Most Important Step]

The adoption process is complex, can be expensive, and requires expert guidance. For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, selecting the right adoption agency can be especially significant. The best adoption agency will help you navigate the legal and procedural intricacies and provide support that aligns with your values and beliefs.

Choosing the right adoption agency is crucial. The right agency can streamline the process, offering peace of mind and efficient service. Conversely, the wrong agency can lead to delays, stress, and legal complications.

At Eternal Family Adoption, the stories you will read here where written by families who have partnered with the premier LDS-friendly adoption agency, Heart-to-Heart Adoptions, based in Utah. They have been supporting LDS families for nearly 30 years, have a staff of women who support the adoption from the start, and are available long after the placement has been finalized for birth mothers and adoptive families alike. The walls of their offices are continuously updated with pictures and messages from grateful birth and adoptive families.

Their staff of experienced adoption specialists, including licensed adoption counselors, stands ready to serve and offer empathetic and informed support. The adoption process can require assistance at any time, day or night. Heart to Heart offers 24/7 support, ready to help whenever needed.

Your investment in your child begins early. Adoption fees cover the cost of care for the birth mother, during her pregnancy and the cost of helping her to regain traction in her own life and goals, following the pregnancy and placement. It covers proficient processing and filing of all the paperwork for the states involved, and the oversight needed to ensure that adoptive parents are properly prepared to adopt and that children are lovingly, healthfully, correctly, and legally placed so that they thrive.

See adoption options compared for an understanding of the costs associated with the type of adoption you are considering, and then see Financial Information for ways to overcome a financial gap if one exists.

You may be wondering “How does a family get approved to adopt?” We’ve included the eligibility requirements for the Heart to Heart Adoption Agency. Their standards are high, and those standards are also the reason that they have such a high degree of satisfaction with adoptive families in the LDS community.

Heart to Heart Adoption Eligibility Requires for Families desiring to Adopt

1. Do you have sufficient income to care for your family as well as pay the adoption costs?
2. If you are married, have you been married at least 2 years?
3. Can you, and each person living in your home over the age of 17, clear a criminal and child abuse background screening?
4. Do you have a favorable current adoptive home study?
5. Are you willing to provide medical care at or above the standard required for children under the age of 18?
6. Are you between the ages of 23 and 50?

Setting Investment Expectations

There are as many levels of investment associated with adoption as there are ways to offset the cost of adoption. The Adoption Agencies responsibility is to act in the best interests of the birth mother, of the child and to shepard all members of the adoption triad, including the adoptive family though each step of the process including cost associated with the process.

We are most familiar with the expenses associated with a private domestic (USA) adoption through a Utah-based adoption agency, so we’ll discuss those expenses here.

Donna Pope is a member of the Utah Adoption Council and Director of Heart to Heart Adoptions, a well respected not-for profit agency in Utah that has been serving adoptive families and birth families alike for 30 years. We asked Donna Pope to give us the low down on the expenses associated with a Private Domestic Adoption at her Agency and beyond.

“We will discuss your adoption budget with you before you become active with our agency, and you will be able to tell us the level of fees you are comfortable with.

Each birth family situation is unique and we will discuss with adoptive parents all fees associated with each particular situation before we show their profile to any birth families for a potential placement.

What is a Home Study?

A home study is a comprehensive evaluation process for families considering adoption, ensuring child safety and preparing families for parenting. Key components include:

The home study is crucial for ensuring the child’s safety, preparing adoptive parents, matching the right family with the right child, and meeting legal requirements.

Application Fee, Adoption Fee, Medical Expenses, Legal Fees and Homestudy Fee

Its wise to understand the costs associated with adoption. There are many wonderful families that would love to adopt but the cost of adoption can feel prohibitive. Our goal is to help wonderful families adopt. See our Financial Info section for ways to raise or offset the cost of adoption in the LDS community.

Also consider helping other families to adopt. Donate to Heart to Heart Foundation. It is established to help more loving LDS families to open their home and hearts to newborns and young children in need of adoption. It also helps birth mothers develop the life skills and emotional well being to get their lives on track and moving forward.

A word about Failed Placement Policies

You begin your process with A non-fundable application fee to the agency of your choice. Our Application fee is $500. While many families opt to work with one agency, adoptive parents will often apply to more than one.

“Beyond the application fee, there are three types of expenses associated with an adoption.

“The first is the ADOPTION FEE, which you pay to the agency. This fee covers all of the birth mother’s and the agency’s expenses. The adoption fee is $48,000 (as of June, 2024)

“The second is MEDICAL EXPENSES. Many birth mothers will have some type of medical insurance but some will not. The adoptive family assumes all of the medical expenses that are not covered by the birth mother’s insurance. This includes doctor visits, emergency room visits, hospital costs, and pediatrician costs. The medical expenses can vary by state and hospital. Most families will pay between $5,000 – and $15,000 for a full medical situation.

“The third expense is any LEGAL FEES. Babies born in Utah will not normally have legal fees other than the cost to finalize the adoption and if we need to hire an attorney for an extra-legal proceeding.

For babies born in other states, the Agency is required to pay additional fees to facilitate the execution of legal documents. Those fees average $6,000 but could go higher when additional legal proceedings are required.

For example, almost all babies that have Native American heritage require additional legal work. The birth mother is required to go before a judge and state she understands the laws regarding the Indian Child Welfare Act and that she is choosing to place her child outside of the tribe. This is usually an additional cost of $5,000 to $7,000.

Home study fee depends on the Agency you work with. The home study is completed by an adoption counselor licensed in your home state. Usually, as in the case of Heart to Heart Adoptions, the home study is part of the service provided by the agency and it’s cost is included in your agency fee.

If your agency is not qualified to do home studies, you can have one done independently by a licensed social worker in your state that specializes in home studies. The fee for this independent home study in Utah ranges in cost from $750 to $1500 (as of June 2024).

For more information about preparing for your homestudy please see our Homestudy Guide under Resources.

Perhaps, at this this point, you may be ready to speak to an adoption specialist, or even speak to other families who having adopted or are planning to adopt. You may be ready to begin an Agency Application. Use either button below to either connect with the LDS adoption community or to begin an application with the LDS adoption agency, Heart to Heart Adoptions.

It’s always a good idea to check on the failed placement policies of individual agencies. At Heart to Heart Adoptions, if a placement does not go through, we have a low-risk policy where no more than 10% of the Agency fee, or $4,800, is at risk, and we promise that there will be no add-ons or surprises at the end.

An adoptive family needs to meet the eligability requirements to be accepted by the agency. There is also the need to have homestudy completed in your state.

In Utah they cost $750.00. (as of June, 2024). A home study is completed by an Social Worker who specializes in Adoptions and who is licensed in your state, Once completed the Social worker will make a recommendation one way or the other for your eligibility as an adoptive family. A favorable recommendation would be needed to complete your eligibility requirements with Heart to Heart Adoptions.

Step 3: Finding the Right Opportunity for My Family

Next comes Your Profile!

Once your Home Study is completed, reviewed by the state, and by the adoption agency and approved, you’ll complete your profile.

Birth Mothers specify what they are looking for in an adoptive family for their child, if what you are looking for matches what the Birth Mother is looking for, your profile may be shared with the Birth Mother. Your profile is the first look the birth mother will have of your family.

Birth mothers are not looking for a slick advertising campaign.

Instead, they are looking for connections and commonalities.

They want to be able to relate to you.

You don’t need to be perfect; you need real.

An adoptive parent needs to know your passions, and they need to know that there will be a degree of stability for the child.

At the Heart to Heart Adoptions Agency we invite you to create your profile in two ways. Firstly, as an online profile and secondly as a book (minimum of two copies) that can physically be given to a birth mother.

Your profile will include:

• A family summary.
• An introduction to extended family members.
• A description of your house, neighborhood, community.
• Pictures of your home
• Pictures of hobbies/activities/skills
• Anything else that encapsulates your individuality, interests, lifestyle, and—most crucially—your enthusiasm to adopt a child.
• A letter to prospective birth parents

As you create your adoptive parent profile, consider the emotion and uncertain time this may be for the adoptive parents. Try to empathize with the birth parents and offer comfort and reassurance. Regardless of the parents’ situation, they want their child to be raised in a secure and safe environment and have the best life possible.

Some additional suggestions.

• DO include a variety of high-quality pictures.
• DO talk about your feelings concerning adoption.
• DO show respect for the birth mother.
• DO discuss the type of adoption you are opening to considering. You may be prepared for an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or only a closed adoption.
• DO use candid shots and be real.
• DO describe any connections you may have with adoption. Other family members who are adopted. Have you always dreamed of adopting? Did your sister place a child for adoption?
• DO include funny or interesting facts about you and your partner.
• DO share the values and the culture that you want to pass on. This can be done with a few well-chosen pictures.
• DO choose a great cover photo.
• DO explain pictures with captions or short blurbs.
• DO show experience you have with other children.
• DO show balance. Your life is full enough that you are desperate for a baby, but not so full you have no room for a child.
• DO recognize text in your profile is important, but the photos will be the reason for reading the text.
• DO be descriptive but concise.
• DO avoid huge group pictures. You don’t want just a sea of faces.
• DO be sensitive to cultural differences.
• DON’T talk about money or brag about your possessions. Focus on sentiment over possessions.
• DON’T over dress. Give an honest reflection of your daily life.
• DON’T overwhelm the expectant mother with too much text. She will be reviewing multiple profiles. If it is too much to read, she might just skip over the profile.
• DON’T assume the birth family has already made up their minds. A woman isn’t committing to adoption simply by viewing profiles. When you say, “I applaud your decision,” or describe how excited you are to raise her child, you could be putting unwanted pressure on her. Always refer to the baby as hers.
• DON’T be gender-specific. In your adoption plan with the agency, you may state whether you want a boy or a girl. Keep your profile language neutral. Birth parents often find gender-specific language unappealing.
• DON’T overthink it. Birth mothers are looking for different things. Just be honest and let the truth of your personality shine through.
• DON’T make the profile too long. Too much information can be overwhelming. Eight pages are often adequate. No more than 12.
• DON’T include personal information like addresses, phone numbers, social media accounts, or your last names in the actual profile. Don’t be too specific about where you live. There are people who scam adoptive families.

The goal of your profile is to help birth mothers envision their child as a member of your family. If a mother places with you, you will always be connected to this woman one way or another. Above all else, DO be honest.

Step 4: Get to know your Birth family prior to final placement.

Adopting a child is a momentous decision that brings joy and fulfillment to many families. However, it also involves navigating complex emotional landscapes and forming new relationships, particularly with the birth family. Establishing a connection with the birth family before the adoption placement can be crucial for several reasons, including ensuring a smoother transition for the child and fostering an open and trusting relationship between all parties. It’s important to note that this process may not always be easy.

There may be cultural, social, or emotional differences that need to be addressed. But with the right strategies and considerations, adoptive families can overcome these challenges and build a strong connection with the birth family.

Engage Through Your Adoption Agency

Adoption agencies play a pivotal role as intermediaries, facilitating introductions and initial meetings between adoptive and birth families. They can arrange neutral, supervised settings where both parties can meet and discuss their hopes, concerns, and expectations. We, as your agency, are here to provide access to the Hearts Connect app; an easy to use, moderated tool to foster family connection and communication before, during, and after placement. These meetings provide a safe space to start building rapport and understanding. Additionally, your agency can offer guidance and support to navigate any cultural, social, or emotional differences that might arise; ask them.

Communicate Openly and Respectfully

Open and respectful communication is not just a suggestion, but the cornerstone of any relationship, and this is especially true in adoption. Adoptive families should approach conversations with empathy and a willingness to listen. Asking thoughtful questions about the birth family’s background, interests, and hopes for the child can help build a deeper connection. Honesty about your family values, routines, and expectations is also important. Transparency is not just a virtue, but a necessity that helps establish trust and ensures that both parties are on the same page.

Discover a Better Way

to stay connected online

Introducing Our Heart’s Connect. Those involved in open adoption need a secure way to stay in touch. Our web app can be monitored to ensure communication is healthy and safe for all.

Connect Now

Share Personal Stories and Experiences

Sharing personal stories and experiences can help humanize the adoption process and make it more relatable. For adoptive parents, sharing their adoption journey, what led them to this decision, and what they envision for the future can help the birth family understand their motivations and aspirations. Similarly, listening to the birth family’s story and understanding their reasons for considering adoption can create a bond based on mutual respect and empathy. This exchange can also provide valuable insights into the child’s background and heritage, helping both families understand and appreciate the child’s unique identity.

Arrange Visits and Interactive Activities

If both parties are comfortable with older children, arranging ongoing communication, visits, and interactive activities can be a great way to get to know each other in a more relaxed and natural setting. This could include shared meals, where both families can share their favorite dishes and culinary traditions, park outings, where the children can play together and the families can have casual conversations, or events together, such as birthdays or holidays, where the families can celebrate together. These interactions allow families to see each other in different contexts and create shared memories. It also gives the child an opportunity to see the adoptive and birth families interacting positively, which can be reassuring during the transition.

Utilize Technology for Ongoing Communication

In today’s digital age, technology offers numerous ways to stay connected. However, you want to make sure you communicate in a way that is in the child’s best interest. Early on, the Hearts Connect App offers an agency-moderated communication channel for all parties. This means that the agency oversees the communication to ensure it remains respectful, balanced, and within the agreed boundaries. As time passes and children are old enough to engage, families can feel confident giving children access to the Hearts Connect app. The agency ensures that communication is within the bounds set and agreed to by the families and doesn’t expose the child to undesirable social media. This is a blessing, especially if you live far apart. This tool can help maintain a continuous dialogue, share updates, and celebrate milestones together, even before the adoption is finalized.

Seek Professional Guidance and Support

Adoption is a complex emotional journey, and seeking professional guidance can be incredibly beneficial. Counselors, social workers, and adoption specialists can provide support and advice on how to navigate the relationship with the birth family. They can help address concerns, mediate difficult conversations, and ensure that the child’s needs and well-being remain the central focus. Your agency should have a licensed adoption counselor on staff to help in those moments, so don’t hesitate to contact them.

Respect for Cultural and Personal Differences

Adoptive families should be mindful and respectful of the birth family’s cultural and personal background. Understanding and honoring these differences can form a more respectful and inclusive relationship. This might involve learning about cultural traditions, celebrating significant holidays, or incorporating elements of the birth family’s heritage into the child’s life.

Conclusion

Forming a relationship with the birth family before adoption placement is a meaningful step that benefits everyone involved, especially the child. By engaging through adoption agencies, communicating openly, sharing stories, arranging visits, utilizing technology, seeking professional support, establishing clear boundaries, and respecting cultural differences, adoptive families can build a strong, trusting relationship with the birth family. This connection facilitates a smoother transition for the child and lays the foundation for a positive and supportive adoption experience.

Step 5: Finalize your adoption and continue to develop your relationship with your child’s birth family over time.

For LDS (Latter-day Saints) adoptive families, the adoption journey is a path filled with faith, hope, and divine guidance. As you approach the final step of finalizing your adoption, it’s important to reflect on the legal process and the spiritual and relational aspects that will shape your family’s future. This article reflects LDS adoptive families who have shared similar adoption experiences, aims to guide you through the finalization of your adoption, and offers insights on nurturing a meaningful relationship with your child’s birth family over time.

Finalizing Your Adoption: A Sacred Step

Finalizing an adoption is more than just a legal procedure; it’s the culmination of a journey that unites families under God’s watchful eye. Here are the essential steps to ensure a smooth finalization:

Building a Lasting Relationship with the Birth Family

The relationship with your child’s birth family is a unique and delicate one, grounded in mutual respect, love, and shared concern for the child’s well-being. Here are some ways to nurture this relationship over time.

Keep in mind that the Heart’s Connect provided by the Heart to Heart Agency, is a great tool for enabling all of the above.

Supporting Your Child Through the Journey

Your child’s understanding of adoption will evolve as they grow. It is essential to provide them with a supportive and open environment to explore their identity.

Utilizing Community and Church Resources

Leverage the support networks and resources available within the LDS community and beyond:

Conclusion

Finalizing your adoption is a profound step in your family’s journey, blessed with divine love and guidance. By fostering a positive relationship with your child’s birth family, you create a network of love and support that enriches your child’s life. Remember, this journey is a partnership built on faith, respect, and enduring love. As you move forward, continue to seek Heavenly Father’s guidance, embrace the support of your church community, and cherish the unique and beautiful family He has helped you create.